Where your heart is

This shot was taken at Stoller vineyards yester-morning at 7:45. General and I worked the bottling line at Stoller yesterday. Good times. I’d forgotten how much I enjoy flipping glass. Feeding the empty bottles onto the belt, constant motion, singular focus.

When I left my job at Oregon Wine Services, I hoped to have the 3000 Bosses program take off faster, fast enough so that I’d be able to just focus on writing music and recording it. That hasn’t happened yet, but I’m still hoping to be of service to at least 3000 Bosses, so we’ll just keep on building.

Right now the Sit For A While fundraising project is stalled at 43% with 19 days left. Either we will have raised an additional $2500 or the $1950 that is currently pledged will evaporate. It’s all or nothing in this effort.

Meanwhile, on Tuesday this week, I got a phone call from a church on the East coast asking if I might consider becoming a full-time, on-staff worship leader to their community. I said “no, thank you.” Here are my reasons:

1. I’m already assigned to a community, that being Open Door Community in Sheridan, Oregon. They can’t pay me, not even part-time. But this is the place I have come to dwell, and here I choose to belong.

2. Although I enjoy interpreting songs written by other worship leaders and songwriters in general, I am doing the math concerning my energy levels, mental, physical and emotional. I think, God willing, I’ve got steam enough for another 15 years of something. At this point, if I choose to build a worship community other than Open Door, I’ll be required to divert my attentions away from the music that flows through me, my original stuff. It will take time to get to know the new community, time that has already been invested over the years that I’ve been associated with Open Door. We still have much yet to grow through together, but certain basic foundational matters have already been settled. My commitment to the town of Sheridan takes on a broader scope than just my church community, but it centers there.

3. Snow. They have snow in Maryland. Snow is nice to visit.

4. The Humlie Trio, an independent local band has, for the last year, been collaborating with me to arrange and perform my music. I’ve been blessed with a network of churches, wineries and coffee-shops that invite me to come and make music with them or for them, and it feeds me a little cash. It’s not enough to cover recording costs right now, but it helps. If I left now I’d have to start building that network all over again, and I really like this belonging thing.

5. Jerry Monckton, Portland video-producer and his church community, Mosaic Adventist Church. They partnered with me to make this video: In The City Official Music Video

6. Stevie and her crew at Express Personnel. I stopped by last week to introduce General. Stevie said there are tons of jobs and not enough workers. So I worked a day last week at Owen Roe winery. This week a couple days at Stoller. Monday I’ll be packaging cookies at Smith Cookie company in Mac. Where else will I have sufficient relationship already in place to take one day of work or two when I need them, but take the following week completely off to be in the studio or to focus on an arrangement or to travel to California to sing at a wedding? It seems that while we build the 3000 Bosses plan, I’ll simply have to supplement income as needed, and thank God, that option is wide open for me here.

I could keep on going with reasons, but I’ll stop here. Suffice to say, this place and these people are my home.

Earlier today, an acquaintance said to me: “I don’t have a dream. I don’t know what my passion would be. I can’t have one right now, I’m too focused on surviving.”

My heart hurts for her. She loves to go to the beach. It would calm her mind and soothe her spirit, but she can’t afford to spend the gas money to get there. I hope she finds her way to water soon. We did not come here to just survive.

I hope you find what brings you life.

I hope you find your way home.